


Secret Garden

by notameeksassenach



Category: Outlander & Related Fandoms, Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-29 04:35:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14465145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notameeksassenach/pseuds/notameeksassenach
Summary: Claire reflects on the life she left behind while tending to her garden.





	Secret Garden

This was her place. The one place she could truly be herself. Where she didn't need to be Frank Randall's wife: the quiet and obedient professor's wife.

Here she truly found her solace. Among the plants and soil, the sun beaming down on her face. The one remaining link to her forgotten past.

*

_"Just like that? We just pick up where we left off? Are you sure about this, Frank? Perhaps you should take some time to think about..."_

_"I've had too much time to think. Two years to contemplate the prospect of a solitary existence. I want us to be together. Man and wife. And Child. We start over. I have been offered a post at Harvard. I was going to turn it down. Now I have a mind to take it."_

_"To Boston?"_

_"Yes. I also have conditions. We will raise this child as our own. Ours. Yours and mind."_

_"Raised in a lie?"_

_"No, with a father. A living, breathing man. Not the echo of a memory that they can never catch."_

_"Not a ghost. You have other conditions?"_

_"Only one. While I draw breath on this earth, I cannot share you with another man. No more research. No more combing through the libraries of the world, hoping to find some reference to him or the life you once led. You must let him go."_

_"I know. I promised him I would. He made me promise that I would let him go. So I will. I accept your conditions."_

*

Frank had not questioned her when she requested a garden. He always knew she had a keen interest in plants. But for her, it was something that went deeper than just a hobby. This was the place that Claire could come and feel him.

She knew she had made him a promise. A promise she thought that she would be able to keep. But how can you let go of the one person in the whole world that completes you?

There was never going to be a way she would be able to fully let him go as long as she was alive. She would never be able to let him go as long as she had the biggest reminder of their time together, their child. While she would keep her promise to Frank, to end her research and raise the child as his, she would never be able to keep the promise to Jamie to let him go.

As she made her way around her garden, she gently placed a hand on her baby bump. She was just starting to show, the reality that she was in fact carrying Jamie's child was no longer just her secret. This was one of the reasons why she was spending so much time in her garden as of late. She would spend hours just sitting. Feeling his touch in the warm summer breeze. Hearing him speak words of love over her and their unborn child in the song of the passing birds. She would tell him about her day, share with him the progress of her pregnancy. It was her way of making sure he was involved, that he was there for all the milestones.

Her mind would wander as she tried to think of how he would have responded to her changing body. She placed a hand on her chest, cupping her breast slightly. Would he have noticed this subtle change? How her breasts were beginning to fill out and grow heavier as her pregnancy progressed. She grazed her thumb across her nipple, causing it to harden at the touch. Closing her eyes, she let her mind's eye see him. It was no longer her hand, but his strong and calloused hands that were caressing her. She could feel a heat begin to settle deep in her stomach and begin its descent. It had been months since she felt that desire, that need within he. With her left hand continuing to work on her breast, she slide her right hand down her side, over her hip and come to rest at the hem of her sun dress. Gripping the hem, she gave herself access as her hands began to travel towards her warm center. Pushing aside her panties, she made lazy circles as her fingers explored. Finding her sweet spot, she slowly pinched it between her finger and thumb, causing a jolt of wanting to spread throughout her body. With Jamie still in her mind's eye, she slipped a finger into her warmth as a small moan escaped her lips.

As her need began to build, she could picture his hands slowly working her towards release. Adding another finger shes started to rock her hips to meet each thrust. The sensation was almost overwhelming. It had been so long since she was touched. The last time she felt this burn was just before she stepped back through the stones. The last time they had been together. It wasn't long before she could feel herself tighten, nearing her peak. She shuttered, finding her release. As her breathing started to slow, she started to bring herself back to reality. As her mind began to register where she was, a single tear ran down her cheek. He wasn't there and she was still alone. She adjusted her skirt and placed her hand on the last link to Jamie Fraser she had.

*

Jamie knew a part of him was missing. That part would always be missing since he sent his heart back through the stones at Craigh Na Dunn. And although he felt incomplete, she would still come to him when he needed her the most. But for those times when he felt as if he could not go on without her, he would find himself wandering through the forest. It would take him back to a time when he would accompany her while she was looking for her "wee herbs." The buzzing of the bees would become Claire humming to herself as she worked. He could feel her healing touch in the soft petals of the flowers he found. The way his skin felt when she was tending his wounds and mending his scratches. The touch he would never feel again.

Closing his eyes, he could almost feel the smoothness of her ivory skin. Flawless and like velvet. He had committed her curves to memory. He imagined his hands cupping her supple breast, the way her nipple would spring to life beneath his touch. He would take the peaks into his mouth, kissing around each breast, lightly passing his tongue across. He could hear the noises she would always make in response to his touch. How he wished he could run his hands down her sides, making there way to his favorite feature, her round arse.

Just thinking of having his hands on her body was enough to give him an uncomfortable cockstand. Unbuttoning his breeks, he took hold of himself. Rubbing this thumb over the sensitive head, he closed his eyes and envisioned Claire. As he began to stroke himself slowly, he imagined her hands working on him. Her touch, soft but strong. The same touch that he felt that first night, when she had set his shoulder. The touch that he had felt multiple times after that, as she tending to his various scratches and wounds. It was this touch that he missed the most. The feeling of having her hands on him, his on her. It wasn't long before he could feel himself shutter in his hands. Just the mere thought of her was enough to bring him to his end. His breathing began to ease and return to normal, and he readjusted his breeks. The last thought he had before he made his way back to the cave was a silent prayer. _Lord, that she may be safe. She and the child._


End file.
